I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
