Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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