No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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