Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
