I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
