i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
