i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
