dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
