I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
