so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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