I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
