bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
