The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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