ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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