this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
