i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
