you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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