singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
