eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
