you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
How does it feel to date your dad?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
