In the future we'll all be gay
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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