i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
