All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
