Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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