Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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