Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize