He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize