like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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