Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
