i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
