whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
