Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
