its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
