Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
