I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize