Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize