She's JV to your varsity
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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