I'm gonna have a badass scar
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
