That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
