so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize