Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
your like the ambassador to my penis.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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