Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize