So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
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