Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
a search helicopter?!
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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