just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
