Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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