he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize