There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
