did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
