shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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