We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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