I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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