i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
organizing the empties. That sober.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
