is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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