guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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