i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
