Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
i need some magic done to my vagina
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
