We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
