At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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