babies were throwing up all over the place
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
