Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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