she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
why is half of my head shaved?
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