Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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