At least make sure they are 18
Why
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
