We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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