This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
