i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just gargled with NyQuil
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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