Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
