I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
40s are totally the cure
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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