I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
