its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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