I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
